I have been hurt too. I would experience much pain then I would try to rationalise what was going on around me and to me. I would then justify that the world is not fair! Then I would want to get back at the same people because they I think they deserved it. Being judge and jury!
Many times we state, “I will never talk to her after the hurt she caused me. I will never pick his calls because he hurt me. Never again shall I help this child because her actions have hurt me. Let them be! They deserve that!”
We even become cheerleaderss of the famous saying, “What goes around comes around.” Not to say that it isn’t true, but we hold onto it as our only resort. This is what hurt does to us.
Hurt can make us hurt others even the more. Who likes to be hurt? No one. So why should we be the ones to pass on this baton? Shouldn’t we choose to pass on a different baton? Refuse the hurt baton.
The truth is it is not easy. I agree.
As I write this, I have been in a hurtful situation. I did not choose to fully forgive the hurt. Instead I have tried to make sense of it, debated with my friends about it, until I became almost hopeless and decided that the situation was unbearable.
Then I came across Big Ted’s blog: Forgive and Forget.” His last statements blessed my heart, “Some forgive and forget, more forgive and remember, most forgive and remind. You forgive people because you still want them in your life. If you can’t forgive and forget, pick a struggle!”
I realised I needed to choose a new path. I needed a way out. I needed a new plan since I had even been hurting others, especially my close friends and family too.
For a long time I have been in the category of ‘forgive and remember’ and sometimes ‘forgive and remind’ especially if they constantly hurt me. Shock on me! This never solved my weakness to forgive. Actually no forgiveness was exercised.
I have always desired to forget after declaring that I have forgiven someone. Sometimes I do forget, rarely, when I intentionally choose to! Yet I need to do so on ALL occassions.
“What criteria do I use to merit one for total forgiveness and another for ‘forgive and remember’ or ‘forgive and remind’?” is a question for each one of us. The latter two are proof that the hurt that you were dealt with has been bred. You accepted the hurt and accepted to hurt others.
My Say therefore is, you do not have to pass the baton of hurt. Change your lane and pass the baton of GOD’s love, joy and peace!
Quote of the day:
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. ~Bishop T.D. Jakes